Tumbalong Ride Alongs
Despite being as connected as ever, never before have we collectively felt more isolated, more lonely. Is joining a Run Club the new solution or do I need to deactivate my instagram account and raw dog it?
Words by Mazen Nouh | Sir Joseph Banks High School (2024)
It used to be that people loved to reminisce about their childhood, especially as the lack of technology had made it so difficult to keep tabs on the speed of our growth and maturation. But, it seems that nowadays, there’s a shift — people are wanting to disassociate with their childhood in order to be adults. But is the solution to this rooted in spending better quality time as children, as adolescents, and in person with our loved ones?
For perspective, there was once a time back in 2020. At the young age of 14, I had gathered with my friends for an evening adventure into the CBD. With some chump change in our pockets, we trained it all the way from Bankstown to Central station. We had no clue what we would be doing there, or where exactly we were going, but we (the boys) were out and that’s all that mattered. Those new ebikes seemed to litter the city, so we thought we’d do our part to clean up George Street. Of course, by getting on them ourselves to loiter… but in speed. Against the sunkist orange sunset of Darling Harbour and the glistening water feature that was swarmed by the Ibisis, my wheelies were majestic as the water jets fired up underneath the asphalt. The highlight of our evening was spent at the top of the new ICC, on the balcony overlooking the CBD and Tumbalong Park. After having ridden our poor ebikes past all the rappers and dancers, all of whom we quietly giggled at, we perched ourselves on the balcony, preparing for our own rap royale. Fadz has started a beat and that was our night — eventually Jimmy and Elijah brought in the percussion, and I brought in some rhymes. Jimmy did as well, but sucked and he realised it. What we all didn’t realise was how such a small part of time, a small part of our lives would shape up to be something which would mould us forever. In an independent study conducted by Oliver Huxhold, developmental psychologist at the German Centre of Gerontology, he found that in person connections with our friends make all the difference to our physical health and mental health. He even states that “We are social species, we’re just primed to connect to others” who cannot merely be restricted to two dimensional images of our friends — that we need “other senses”.
In stark contrast, Looking at my own instagram account, it is hanging on by a thread of hair. I am the type of person who posts very little and my stories are only ever posted when there is relevance. Comparing myself to my friend “James” however, who has thousands of followers on instagram, my life pales in comparison. I’ve always wondered how it would feel to experience the joys of having that many people engage with you. However, in conversation once during dinner with James, I asked him this exact question; how it feels. He replied by saying “it’s the bain of my existence”. How was it that having that many followers and incredible engagement made you feel isolated? Surely he was exaggerating. James has a very curated account and far more followers than anyone I know, but when discussing why, he said that “I could predict what everyone says before I even open the chat up; that I know my followers better than they know me sometimes. And that’s what makes it lonely because no one actually knows who I am.
While newly realised for people of my generation, this paradox of connection — of connecting plenty and feeling lonely — has been age-old. You can attend dinners and parties with friends and still feel uninvited; you can go on group holidays with your colleagues and still feel isolated; and you go to networking events at golf clubs and still feel unworthy. Except, now, what social media (and the smartphone) has done is that these experiences — which have historically happened once or twice a year have become a daily pedestrian occurrence. A self perpetuating and self inflicting death by a thousand cuts.
So perhaps, it could be that in person connections may result in a more open relationship with our childhood and youth — by spending more time with friends and family in person. But a pivotal factor which needs to be thought of, especially in light of proposed legislation to ban social media for people under 16, is that we need to relearn the language of what it means to be social in this new era. To be more like our parents, more disconnected… but not too much.
